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Carpenter's Column: While we wait for the timer

Carpenter's Column: While we wait for the timer

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Carpenters Column

For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.—Andy Borowitz

Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.—Erma Bombeck

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, bring peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.—Melody Beatty

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.—Johnny Carson

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.—W. T. Purkiser

After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.—Oscar Wilde

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.—Charles Dickens

Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1863.—Unknown

Thanksgiving: When the people most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.—Melanie White

People who love to eat are always the best people.—Julia Child

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.—Kevin James

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.—Phyllis Diller

If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.—Carl Sagan

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.—Rita Rudner

I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food.—Howie Mandel

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.—Jay Leno

A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense when you hear them consider saying “that smells good” to be helping.—Jimmy Fallon

Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.--Melanie White

Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life.—Lindsey Bareham

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.—Kin Hubbard

I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving than members of my own family.—Damien Fahey

I like football. I find it’s an exciting, strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversations with your family at Thanksgiving.—Craig Ferguson

We’re having something different for Thanksgiving this year. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.—George Carlin

There’s always something to be grateful for at Thanksgiving -- even if it’s just not being a turkey.—Unknown

I am grateful for you, dear reader. Happy Thanksgiving.


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Back home in Flagstaff, retirement resumed, Buck Wickham looks none the worse for wear. Another fire season will come, soon enough, and he will sure as heck be there once more in the midst of the action. But for now, Buck in winter is content to dust off his golf clubs, scratch his beloved Aussie Shepherd, Bessie, behind the ears, trade his cowboy boots for hiking boots or, really, just chill and reflect on another hot, dry summer on the front lines now safely in the books.

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