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Mothering Sunday

During the 1600s, England celebrated a Christian festival known as "Mothering Sunday" on the fourth Sunday of Lent. Many of England's poor lived and worked as servants far away from home. They were given this day off to return home and spend the day with their mothers.

I’d like to be an ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids. — Anonymous

When my children become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. Then they’re finished, I climb out. — Erma Bombeck

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother. — Wynona Judd

A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. — Peter de Vries

I don’t visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won’t wait in the yard while I run in. — Margaret Smith

It’s really hard being a single mom nowadays—which is why I don’t have children. — Cristela Alonzo

I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. — Jeff Foxworthy

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers... the original meal was never found. — Tracey Ullman

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring; when she was in a good mood it turned blue... in a bad mood it left a big red mark on my forehead. — Jeff Shaw

Don’t forget Mother’s Day; or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day. — Jay Leno

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. — Quentin Crisp

From time to time my mother puts on her wedding dress; not because she’s sentimental, she just gets really far behind on her laundry. — Brian Kiley

It would seem that something that means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely. But the desire to beget children is a natural urge. — Phyllis Diller

My mother was a garage sale person, save money. Come on into the garage sale, you might find a shirt. She’d get in that garage sale and point stuff out to you. There’s a good fork for a nickel. Yeah, that’s beautiful. It’s a little high. If it were three cents I’d snap it up. — Louie Anderson

My mother used to say that there were no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia. — Dame Edna Everage

My mom told me how she learned to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned to swim. I said, “Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.” — Paula Poundstone

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. — William Feather

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says “keep away from children.” — Susan Savannah

Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it. — Robert Brault.

Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying “Dada” first.” — Mignon McLaughlin

Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. — Dave Barry

Happy Mother’s Day, dear readers.

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