DEAR ABBY: I am married to a great man, but he's very tight with his money. We found out early in our relationship that we couldn't have a joint account because it caused so much fighting.
We share our bills, but I am broke all the time. I have credit card debt he doesn't know about. (He hates being in debt.) I have had a problem with credit cards before, and he threatened that if it happened again, we are done. -- SWIMMING IN DEBT
DEAR SWIMMING: Go online and begin researching accredited or certified credit counselors. Make sure the one you choose is affiliated with the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org). While you're at it, get on the internet and locate the nearest chapter of Debtors Anonymous. It's a 12-step program group for individuals who cannot control their spending. You will find it at www.debtorsanonymous.org.
Because you are compulsive about abusing credit cards, prepare yourself for the fact that you may have to get rid of all of them. And when (not if) you inform your husband about what's been going on, be sure he knows you are WILLING to do that. I wish you luck and recovery.
DEAR ABBY: I read your column often, and it appears to me that if everyone would just take a few moments to step back and think, "What if someone said/did this to me? How would I feel?" the world would be a smidge kinder. -- PONDERING IN ALBUQUERQUE
DEAR PONDERING: You are not simple-minded. You are paraphrasing a variation of the Golden Rule, which is found in the Bible and has been preached from the pulpit since it was written.