Dear Abby

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 24 years and have two daughters, 18 and 14. I'm in a business with my husband and work six days a week. We don't take vacations, go on date nights or spend time together outside of work.

I have had my own bedroom for 15 years because he needs his sleep (he is 15 years older). Our sex life ended two years ago because he says I'm too heavy. (I should lose 40 pounds and so could he.)

He complains that I'm not giving him attention, but then he'll comment on my appearance or criticize me for small tasks that I didn't do "his" way.

I'm tired and overworked. Is it wrong to want to divorce him and be free of this loveless marriage? I don't claim to be perfect -- I'm patient and easygoing to a fault. But he has had two affairs and blames me for them. I have been here for the business and the kids, but what about me?

I know what I need to do, but I guess I'm looking for validation. -- FED UP IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FED UP: I agree. That you think you will be happier apart from a spouse who deprives you of companionship and affection, cheats, blames you for it and criticizes you regularly is understandable. However, before making any announcements, schedule an appointment with an attorney who can guide you in what steps to take to protect yourself.

DEAR ABBY: "Cheryl" has been one of my best friends for a very long time. She has helped me through many issues and even some depression over the years, as I have done for her. We live several states apart and talk on a daily basis. Neither of us is dating now, although we both use dating apps and websites.

Lately, Cheryl has been asking me to help her sort through her messages. It has become torture for me because I have begun having romantic feelings for her. I know she won't move to be with me because she helps to take care of her father, who lives with her.

I wouldn't have an issue with moving there, but I don't want to make that decision unless I know her feelings are similar. I also don't want to risk losing a friend. Please help. -- CONFLICTED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR CONFLICTED: The first thing you should tell your friend is that you are not comfortable sorting through her messages. When she asks you why, explain that after these many years of best friendship, you have begun to develop romantic feelings for her. How she reacts will help you to determine what -- if anything -- to do next.

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