DEAR ABBY: My husband works out of town with his brother, who is married. While I'm not close to my sister-in-law, I like her just fine.
My problem is, my husband keeps sharing with me that his brother is unfaithful while he travels, and I have actually overheard him on a call with my husband trying to show my husband nude pictures of other women. I cannot express how much this boils my blood. It's not only from the perspective of someone who has been cheated on before (not by my husband), but also that his brother's bragging with photos shows he doesn't respect ANY marriage or relationship.
I feel stuck with deciding whether I should share this information with my sister-in-law, or if it would be overstepping some kind of boundary where it's not my business. Because I don't talk with her often, I'm afraid I would just cause drama where I shouldn't have put my nose. But I believe she's a good wife and mother, and I feel awful and burdened by the knowledge that her husband isn't faithful to her.
Should I keep this to myself and rely on "karma" to one day reveal his transgressions, or should I give her the information I have? (It involves no hard proof except my husband's word and what I overheard.) My husband thinks I should keep quiet and says he would be uncomfortable being put in a position to "out" his brother. -- TEMPTED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TEMPTED: Your brother-in-law is a conscienceless, immature braggart. "Karma" won't protect your sister-in-law from syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes and HIV, to name only a few of the STDs her husband has been exposing her to. Tell her it's important she schedule an appointment with her doctor to be tested for all of them. Isn't that what you would want if the situation were reversed?
DEAR ABBY: I've been in an off-and-on marriage for eight years. My husband drinks every day. Once he's reached a certain alcohol level, he curses me and talks trash about my family. He is no longer affectionate with me. Our marriage is toxic. We are living like roommates instead of husband and wife. He won't go to AA and is very disrespectful, and I'm going to leave him. What do you think? -- CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE IN GEORGIA
DEAR CAN'T: I think your husband has shown you he isn't going to change for the better. After eight years of living with his drinking problem and verbal abuse, the time has come to consult a lawyer and set yourself free. If you're looking for validation from me, you have it.