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Dear Abby

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law "June" is being married soon. I will be the matron of honor. My husband, "Jake," June's brother, will be a groomsman for her fiance, "Jimmy." Not only is Jake going to be a groomsman, but he's also supposed to officiate.

Jake went to the bachelor party a couple weeks ago and Jimmy showed all the guys -- including my husband -- eight (!) naked pictures a girl from work had texted him. He asked my husband if he should tell June about it before the wedding or after, and Jake said he should tell her right away.

Should my husband tell June or leave it up to Jimmy, who may or may not do it? (We don't know what his plans may be about the girl who sent the pictures.) -- LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT THING TO DO

DEAR LOOKING: Jimmy may or may not have "plans" for a fling with the woman who texted him the pictures -- or it may have already happened. (He could also be an immature braggart, which is why he shared the photos with the other "stags" at the party.) Because Jake now has concerns about Jimmy's character, he should reiterate to Jimmy that if June isn't told before she makes a lifetime commitment, he will tell her.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has late stage dementia and is in a long-term care center. He had several affairs during our marriage, and if the tables were turned, I'm sure he would be involved with other women while I was receiving care. I realize I should have left him years ago. I visit him several times a month but not every day. I do it out of commitment, not love. Sometimes I feel guilty for not going more often.

I guess I'm asking you for permission to see him when I have time but not every day. I also would like to encourage people who have lost faith in their spouse to make the break before any serious illness sets in. -- HANGING IN THERE IN OHIO

DEAR HANGING IN: Have a realistic talk with that conscience of yours. Surely the two of you can reach a compromise. This is not the time to punish your husband for his infidelity.

Under the circumstances, because you don't feel your husband deserves to be visited daily, visit a couple of times a week to ensure that he is being properly looked after. And if he isn't, make it your mission to ensure the situation is remedied, as you would want someone to do for you.

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