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DEAR ABBY: Suggesting that an older couple ("Upset in Washington," June 13) move to a community for people over age 55 because they're bothered by the neighbors' children playing outside early in the morning is just one more example of how we have ended up living in a world of intolerance and division.

I'm the mother of a lively 6-year-old boy, and I would suggest that what really needs to happen is a kind and thoughtful discussion about how the kids can be taught to respect their neighbors and play more quietly in the mornings. There's no reason why a compromise can't be reached.

Communities for older adults are, in my opinion, beneficial when they provide long-term care and are integrated into the larger community and society. -- MASSACHUSETTS MOMMY

DEAR MOMMY: Like you, many readers were against the idea of the couple being forced to move because of the noise. They offered suggestions for coping, as well as opinions about the parenting of the neighbor children. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: When people move into a neighborhood, they need to try to fit in rather than demand the neighbors accommodate them. That young mom and her kids are the newbies. The older couple has lived there a long, long time.

I say yes to getting soundproof windows. And perhaps "Upset's" husband should have a talk with his doctor about his health-related sleep problems. However, ultimately, the parents must take responsibility for their young kids instead of shoving them outside for the neighbors and unlucky drivers to deal with. Let the kids play inside at 8 a.m. -- ALSO IN WASHINGTON

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DEAR ABBY: In my neighborhood, the landscapers arrive at 7 a.m. to mow, blow and edge. The racket wakes everyone. The answer for us was the white noise machine our daughter got us. During a nap I use it because garbage trucks and delivery vans make more noise than kids playing or the school bus. -- ANN FROM SUN CITY

DEAR ABBY: I called the police because of screaming children. After they came, I never heard the screaming again. Years earlier in another neighborhood, cops came to make kids stop the noise. I'll repeat what the officer told me: "Everyone is entitled to peace." -- MICHIGAN READER

DEAR ABBY: There may be a local ordinance that there must be no noise before 9 a.m. "Upset" should check into this. -- CLAIRE IN NEW YORK


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