For hopeful mom-to-be, timing will be everything

For hopeful mom-to-be, timing will be everything

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Dear Abby

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently celebrated our first anniversary and have decided we're ready to start a family. Our first month of trying has not been successful. My newly engaged cousin has just announced her wedding date. If our second month of trying is successful, my due date will fall just two days prior to their wedding.

I'm extremely close with my family, especially this particular cousin. The thought of missing out on such a special day for them makes me upset.

When I brought up the idea of taking the month off from trying so the dates don't overlap, I knew my husband would be upset. But he wasn't just upset, he was furious!

All I want to do is start trying again the next month so I would be due the month after the wedding. Am I being insensitive? -- TIMING IT RIGHT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TIMING: I don't think you are being insensitive. I do think you are overthinking this. Most people do not conceive on their first try. Sometimes it takes several tries -- or more. Pregnant women do not always deliver on schedule. So PLEASE, rather than worry about your cousin's wedding, let things progress in their own time.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away in early 2014. I haven't been able to get rid of or give away any of his stuff. He was a successful structural engineer with licenses in 12 states. He liked to go hiking every weekend "to clear his head." He has a collection of souvenir small metal buildings and ashtrays of civil or structural significance.

Abby, I'm just not sure how to start to move on. Granted, I'm no spring chicken -- I just turned 70 -- but it would be sweet to find another partner. I would appreciate knowing your thoughts on the subject. -- SORTING THINGS OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR SORTING THINGS OUT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. No one can dictate when a widow or widower should start donating their deceased spouse's belongings. Grieving is an individual process, and the timing isn't the same for everyone.

Now that you are ready, contact a thrift store and ask what items they would welcome. If your husband belonged to any organizations affiliated with his career, contact them to see if any of the members would be interested in acquiring it.

As to finding another partner, the solution is to make it your business to mingle, be social and scope out dating sites for seniors.

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