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Dear Abby

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to be married to a wonderful woman who has a 6-year-old daughter with her ex-husband. They share joint custody.

His controlling nature was a major factor in her decision to end their marriage. Even now, after being divorced more than two years, he tries to control her life. One way is by insisting on pictures of the three of them at every function where they are all present. First day of school, graduations, etc., he has to have pictures taken of him along with my fiancee and their daughter.

He's now engaged to someone as well. I can only assume his fiancee must find these pictures as strange as my fiancee and I do. The reason we haven't shut him down when he insists on these pictures is that we think maybe it is a nice thing for her daughter to have pictures of herself with her mom and dad. Will it do the daughter any harm to stop him the next time he starts insisting on this increasingly awkward situation? -- IN THE PICTURE, TOO

DEAR PICTURE: Because this practice made your fiancee uncomfortable, she should have put a stop to it when it began. A way to deal with it now without roiling the waters would be to wait until you and your fiancee are married -- and her ex and his fiancee are married -- and make it a group photo of the entire blended family.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary on the seventh of next month. My brother was divorced after five years of marriage and is now getting remarried by a justice of the peace. His "bride" is also divorced. They initially planned to be married on the third of the month but changed the date to the seventh saying they couldn't find another date that worked.

Last time I checked, there were 31 days in the month. Our parents don't understand why I'm upset that my brother plans to marry on my wedding anniversary date. I feel this is my special day, one that I have earned after 22 years of marriage. Am I being petty, or is my brother unreasonable? -- THAT'S MY DAY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR DAY: I'm glad you asked. You are making a mountain out of a molehill. You don't "own" the seventh of next month.

Rather than looking to be offended, you should be hoping that your brother and his fiancee have the same good fortune and years of happiness that you and your husband have enjoyed. Their anniversary won't impinge on yours.

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