DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for eight years, married for two. We recently started discussing having a family. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and it may be difficult for me to get pregnant. I suffered a miscarriage earlier this year. Until it happened, I didn't realize how badly I wanted a baby.
We both feel we are ready to be parents. However, I'm terrified that I won't be able to conceive or that I'll lose the baby again. My husband is so optimistic. He thinks everything will be fine and, as soon as we decide to get pregnant, it will happen. I have tried explaining PCOS to him, but he seems oblivious to what could be our reality.
I don't know how to get through to him so he won't be severely disappointed if having biological children isn't in the cards for us. Do you have any suggestions? -- TROUBLED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TROUBLED: Please accept my sympathy for your miscarriage. Because you haven't been able to get through to your husband that the road to parenthood may be bumpy, enlist the assistance of your OB/GYN or your fertility specialist to explain it to him. That way, if what you fear is true, you can better support each other. I wish you both good luck on this journey.
DEAR ABBY: I am 56 and I had an affair with a woman I met 17 years ago. We grew close and five years later we moved in together. We separated five years after that, but stayed friends. At that time, her daughter "Chloe" and I developed feelings for each other.
Chloe's mom became sick two years ago and has now passed away. I love Chloe, but she doesn't want anyone to know about our affair. I don't see how we can hide this any longer. Do you think this relationship will work out? -- PONDERING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR PONDERING: You're asking the wrong woman. It's time for you to have a serious talk with Chloe to ask why she doesn't want anyone to know about the affair. Her answer will tell you everything you need to know about where your future is -- or is not -- heading.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 35 years. She's the best. However, for the last few years I feel like she fits our relationship in between her texting and emails, and not the other way around. Should I feel hurt or just roll with the times? -- NEGLECTED IN FLORIDA
DEAR NEGLECTED: Neither one. What you should do is tell your wife of 35 years that she is making you feel like No. 3 on her list of priorities. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.