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Dear Abby

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband raised my son as his own from the time he was an infant. Now my son's biological father is saying he wants our son to stay away from my ex-husband. However, my ex-husband and my son have a very strong bond. I believe the bond is even stronger than what he has with his biological father.

They are both good dads, but my ex-husband devotes more one-on-one time to my son than his biological father. Must I distance him from my ex since we are no longer married? My son is now 6. -- AT ODDS IN IOWA

DEAR AT ODDS: The boy's father may sense that his son isn't as bonded to him as he is to his former stepdad, which is why he is saying this. I have always believed that more love and positive reinforcement is better than less. By that, I mean I see no reason why you cannot expose your child to anyone you wish, including your former husband.

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for "Still Grieving in Montana" (Jan. 5), who found out only after the death of her brother that he was homeless. She was grieving with the thought that she had been unable to help him.

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I would suggest from now on she make it a point to help other homeless men. A way to do that would be by visiting a local homeless center and doing whatever she can to lend a hand. Rather than spend more money on therapists, assisting people who need it may not only make her feel better, but also benefit the community in an important and meaningful way. -- EAST WINDSOR, N.J., READER

DEAR READER: Channeling grief into an activity can be therapeutic and can lessen depression. Thank you for writing. I'm glad you suggested it.

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