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LIFE GARDEN-PROCRASTINATE TB

Some people plan for elaborate gardens and carry it out. Procrastinating gardeners' grand plans often turn into just putting a few flowers in a pot and calling it done.

“The factory of the future will have two employees: A man and a dog. The man’s job will be to feed the dog. The dog’s job will be to keep the man from touching the computer.” — The Wall Street Journal

If you want to avoid being the guy feeding that dog, then you need to subscribe to Square One.

Ever since my misguided relationship with the Phlegm-o-matic®, I have generally maintained a policy of eschewing product endorsements, But I feel so strongly about the following product, I feel I just have to share it with you.

For more than a century, slow learners like me have turned to the weekly magazine Square One for the latest advice in creative procrastination and success-avoidance techniques. Don’t just take it from me. I’ll let the magazine promotional materials speak.

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Don’t be afraid to stake your claim to a life of talking without acting — remember one person who will take action is worth ten brilliant talkers who do nothing. Why stand alone when you can have so much company?

Learn blame-shifting techniques — it may be your life, but that doesn’t mean you have to be responsible for it.

Learn how to embrace those feelings of guilt and unworthiness. After all giving up isn’t really that hard to do.

In future issues you’ll read:

“Your Excuse-making Gland.”

“Goals, schmoals: where’s the television remote?”

“22 Ways to Avoid a Promotion.”

“Are you paying too much attention?”

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“REM sleep and telecommuting.”

“Mediocrity and the Man in the Gray Flannel Pajamas.”

“Making the Fear of Failure Work for You.”

“Asleep at the Switch: Ten Techniques for Getting by Without Getting Fired.”

“Aspiration-Avoidance Techniques: A Holistic Approach.”

Subscribe today and you will receive an authoritative two-volume set of Myron Putoffski’s writings. Mr. Putoffski is perhaps the most widely read and enjoyed of all of our nation’s procrastinators. Filled with his most insightful writing, the two volumes trace the inadvertent trajectory of Putoffski’s career, his tragic brush with success and the painful restoration of mediocrity in his personal and professional lives. The two-volume set can be read as a single volume, whenever you get around to it.

Yes! Sign me up for my one-year subscription to Square One, and send me my complementary two-volume set of theWit and Wisdom of Myron Putoffski. If I like what I see, I’ll pay your $87.95 subscription price in three easy installments. (That’s 52 book-like issues in all, crammed with information, not pretty pictures). If I don’t subscribe, the two-volume set is mine to keep.

If mediocrity can work for me, it can work for you. Subscribe now!

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