Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. — Mark Twain

When all else fails, try the boss’s suggestion. — Strano’s Law

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I am at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now. — Jarod Kintz

There are two essential rules of management. One: the customer is always right. Two: they must be punished for their arrogance. — Scott Adams

The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6. — Belle’s Constant

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work. — Steve Martin

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. — Robert Frost

Everybody who does not work has a scheme that does. — Munder’s Corollary

Officials make work for each other. — Parkinson’s Axioms II

In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a therapist going to a therapist. — Truman Capote

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. — Anonymous

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people .— Leo Rosten

Most anybody can be a cowboy, but it takes a . . . genius to make money at it. — Anonymous

My girl works at Hooters . . . in the kitchen. — Mitch Hedberg

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If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor. — Haitian Proverb

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil. — Anonymous

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is... and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened. — Nancy Mitford

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.—Alfred E. Neuman

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn’t know what he is doing. — Owen Young

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. — Bertrand Russell

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don’t understand, such as working for a living. — P.J. O’Rourke

If a man smiles all the time he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work. — Groucho Marx

You don’t like your job? You don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. — Homer Simpson

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. — Kin Hubbard

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent. — Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you’re finished. — Leslie Nielsen

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