Absence from guest list hurts old friend of groom's mother

Absence from guest list hurts old friend of groom's mother

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Dear Abby

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend, "Kimberly," for 52 years, ever since first grade. We went all through school together. Teachers described her as a "social butterfly." My dad described her as a "phony." She's an extrovert with a nice personality and many friends. We are both happily married with children and grandchildren.

I moved from our hometown 28 years ago, but we stayed in contact. Kim will call me on my birthday, etc. We talk on the phone every few months and meet for lunch when I visit.

I invited Kim to all four of my children's weddings. She didn't attend, but sent gifts. (Kim has anxiety and doesn't like to travel.) When her older son got married two years ago, I wasn't invited, but I sent a generous gift. Now, her younger son is being married, and again, I'm not invited.

Do you think my dad was right about Kim? Am I on her "C" list when I thought I was "A"-rated? Should I tell her how hurt I am or continue the next 20 years in this "phony" relationship? -- SUCKER-PUNCHED IN KANSAS

DEAR SUCKER-PUNCHED: Do NOT quietly nurture a grudge that may end your long friendship with Kim. Have a talk with your old friend about your feelings. Depending upon who has footed the bill for these shindigs, you may be blaming the wrong person.

Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for their daughter's wedding; more recently, the happy couples pay for it themselves. For financial reasons, they may have needed to curtail the guest list.

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior citizen who lives alone. I was married many years ago, but it ended in divorce. I was unable to conceive a child.

My brothers and sisters all have spouses and children. I am an aunt to many. My problem? The children don't call me "Aunt" anymore. When they were little, it gave me such warm feelings to be called Aunt or Auntie. It made me feel loved and respected. Now that they are grown with kids of their own, they call me by my first name.

Am I silly to be bothered by this? These same nieces and nephews still call their parents "Mom" and "Dad." Abby, am I old-fashioned to want to keep my title in a world where respect seems to be a thing of the past? -- FOREVER AUNTIE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR AUNTIE: I don't think you are silly, and whether you are old-fashioned (or not) is beside the point. Tell your nieces and nephews how much you appreciated being called "Aunt," and ask them to resume using the title.

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