There are three main types of movie-watchers in the world—you have the “commentators,” the “shushers” and the “snackers.” Let me break it down.
The commentators are self-explanatory. Commentators feel the need to give you a play-by-play of each movie scene, even though you’re sitting right next to them on the couch and watching the movie with your own eyes. They are also known as the “question posers.” You’ll often hear, “Woah, did you see that?” or “Oh wow, when I was five I also went on a cruise ship but unlike this movie, we didn’t hit an iceberg,” or “That man has a large beard. I wonder what that’s like.”
But my personal favorite is when commentators try to point out every microscopic flaw in the movie, ultimately ruining a movie.
Which is why, with all the commentators in the world, you need some shushers who make the commentators stop talking. “Shush,” they’ll say, and their people (might) stop talking. Sometimes the “shushes” come every five minutes which can be fun.
And lastly, the snackers. They walk into the living room with a box of Jr. Mints, Sour Patch Kids, a large popcorn, box of chicken tenders and a raspberry slushy all precariously balanced on a tray. Sometimes you’re not even sure where they found their food because your college-student refrigerator is definitely empty.
So there you have it—a breakdown of the movie-watcher personalities. Of course there are also the rest of the people in the world who quietly watch the movie and have normal responses to dialogue and action, but that’s another story.
Now imagine sitting in a sold-out movie theater with 950 people, all college students, watching one movie on the big screen and every movie-watching personality is present. Did you imagine chaos?
That’s what it’s like to see a movie at the Prochnow Auditorium.
Most Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights at NAU, the Prochnow Auditorium on north campus next to the 1899 Bar and Grill features movies for students. Each movie is shown between the theatrical release date and the DVD release date.
Usually they are older movies at the time of the Prochnow showings, but still relatively new in the movie industry—especially for college students who are unable to make the time to go to, or afford, the theaters.
And the best part? The movies are free for students with a student ID, and entry includes free popcorn and beverages (snackers rejoice).
So imagine sitting in a packed theater watching Neighbors, a movie about a fraternity house, surrounded by people who understand the true meaning of a fraternity house. It’s wild, to say the least.
The commentators start yapping about the funny and relatable Zac Efron, portraying the fraternity president, Teddy. Some people in the front start whispering about the time they were shotgunning beers in the backyard, much like Teddy, which is followed by a resound “shush” from those in the back.
And all the while, you’re surrounded by crunching popcorn and slurping sodas—the notorious snackers.
Watching a movie at the Prochnow Auditorium is a real experience. Neighbors was fun because everyone in the entire theater laughed at the college-themed jokes. I also saw It there, which had a lot of commentators spouting out things like, “No, don’t follow the creepy clown in the sewer, you idiot,” or “Yep, they’re going to die.”
Regardless of which movie-watcher you are, watching a movie in a sold-out theater of college students can be wildly entertaining.
As long as the commentators are not too loud.